So as i sit here, 12:08, watching 13 reasons why, still covered in felt from refelting my Grandad’s shed roof. I thought when would be a better time to write a blog, other than now?
so will i make it to the end of writing this blog before i find out what Klay did to Hannah, or will i get fully engrossed and stop writing, well see.
but yeah enough chatting shit in my unwitty introductions to blogs and best get into it…
*reading back on this blog, i have a lot of questions and i don’t really know the answer or if i want to know them.*
so do you get it because i do, When things are going good, bad, sad, happy, positive, negative, there always seems to be this empty feeling, deep routed in the bottom of my stomach, am i a naturally nervous person? yeah, 100% and do i worry about the way people think of me? every day, but that shouldn’t make me always have that feeling right?? because i try and try to not get that shitty empty feeling but i have no idea how to stop it.
but I’m sure it’s not just me that gets this feeling because, an empty feeling at the bottom of your stomach is a very normal thing, but every day? all the time? i don’t know. but it’s not a bad thing, sometimes i get this feeling when I’m so so happy, does that make me weird? it’s not like a sad empty feeling its just a feeling, of emptiness and i kind of hope that it’s just a nervous element of my personality or I’m just hungry, which could be the explanation, i am always hungry to be fair.
emptiness isn’t loneliness, right? because I’m not lonely, i have my conscience and the devil on my shoulder at all times but I’m sure, not lonely.
why when I’m happy do i feel empty? Maya Jama tweeted me back ive never felt so happy, yet there it is the empty feeling.
I’m on the train home, my mind in a good place, listening to a podcast, laughing my head off like a strange little guy on the train empty feeling.
I’m at work, busy as hell, living my dream, cooking, dreaming and living, but there it is, that empty feeling, deep routed at the bottom of my stomach.
everything in my life can be going perfectly but there it is, like a sugar coated bubble at the bottom of my stomach, it never goes, ever.
and it’s not like I’m unhappy and that i am always nervous or scared or happy for that sake, i just don’t get it it’s just like a deep routed pain in my ass, considering i always have heartburn, it makes my stomach feel full and empty all in one go. weird.
but for real, if you ever feel the same. or have any form of opinion on why my stomach is so empty leave me an anonymous message or message me on any of my social media.
From now and forever onwards, thank you forever for reading and liking, it’s so highly appreciated.